Holiday Pudding This is pudding in the English sense of the word, not in the American sense. It's not "chocolate pudding", it's a steamed fruitcake thingy more or less. "Pudding" is kind of an English term for dessert in general. WARNING: This cake takes a minimum of a week to make! No kidding. Plus, it's very ingredient-intensive and highly alcoholic. Ingredients 1 cup cranberries 2 cups sultanas 2 cups raisins 2 cups walnuts, chopped 2 cups candied cherries 1 cups candied fruitcake mix 1 cup candied pineapple and ginger, chopped 8 prunes, chopped 8 apricots, chopped grated rind and juice of one lemon grated rind of one orange 2 apples, grated 1 carrot, grated 2 cups self-rising flour 3 cups whole wheat bread crumbs, partly dried out 1/2 tsp salt 1 tsp nutmeg 1 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp cloves 1/2 tsp ginger 1 tsp allspice 1/2 cup oatmeal 4 oz melted butter 2 cups demerarra (turbinado) sugar 2 Tbsp molasses 3 beaten eggs brandy (at least two cups) 1 1/2 Tbsp granulated sugar 3-4 oz melted butter 4 Tbsp all-purpose flour 1 liter whole milk vanilla extract rum, at least 1 cup Don't Call Me Puddin'! Day 1 Mix cranberries, sultanas, raisins, walnuts, cherries, fruitcake mix, pineapple, candied ginger, prunes, apricots, lemon rind, lemon juice, orange rind, grated apples, and grated carrots together in a very large bowl. Add 1 cup of brandy and 1/2 cup of rum, and let stand overnight to 24 hours. In a separate medium bowl, mix together the flour, bread crumbs, salt, nutmeg, cinnamon, grated ginger, allspice, and oatmeal. Cover and leave overnight to 24 hours. Day 2 In a small bowl, beat the three eggs, add 4oz melted butter, the demerara sugar and molasses. Stir well. Find a REALLY HUGE bowl, and pour the fruit mixture, flour mixture, and egg mixture all together. Mix well. Use 2 wooden spoons, or use your hands if it becomes too difficult. Incorporate very well. Put the mixture into a buttered pudding basin, which is basically a large bowl with very steep sides, which can tolerate some level of heat. It will need to hold at least 20 cups of whatever. Start Cookin' Cover the pudding basin with parchment paper, tie it down with string, and cover the whole shebang with aluminum foil. Set the basin over a large pot of hot water, or in a large steaming pot and steam for 6-8 hours. Check the water level frequently, as you don't want it to dry out. Let sit for three days. Three Days Later... Remove the cover from the basin. Pour at least one more cup of brandy over the pudding. Re-cover. If you wish, you can freeze it at this point and finish later. This is handy if you want to prepare this impressive dish for a holiday meal but don't have time. On The Day Of The Big Party... Thaw the pudding if you froze it. Steam again for 2 more hours. You're So Saucy! Make a roux with 1 1/2 Tablespoons sugar, 3-4 oz melted butter, and 4 Tablespoons melted flour. Basically, you melt the butter, then whisk in the flour and sugar until you have a sauce-thing going. To the roux, add a very small dash of whole milk. Keep adding milk and blending until it thickens, then add a little more. You want a total of one liter of milk. Cook continuously, stirring until the sauce thickens and the flour is completely cooked. Add the vanilla extract and 1/2 cup of rum. You've Been Served To serve, turn the pudding out onto a silver platter, trim with holly (don't eat that stuff, it's poisonous), douse with brandy, and light on fire. Bring to the table still flaming. Pour on the sauce to douse the flames, cut up and serve. Notes and Hints and Stuff Plan Ahead Gather all your ingredients. Most of these should be relatively easy to come by. Demerara sugar sometimes masquerades as "turbinado" or "raw" sugar. Sultanas are a particular kind of raisin, but in a pinch you could use golden raisins as a reasonable fascimile. Everything else, I think, is pretty standard issue. I Don't Do Alcohol That's fine. If you're a teetotaler or pregnant or whatever, you can substitute rum flavoring for the rum in the hard sauce (just to get the right taste) and fresh squeezed OJ for the other alcohol. It's not quite the same, but it's non-alcoholic.